A weekday newsletter for private markets

The water cooler for people who say dry powder unironically.

The PE and private credit news worth knowing, plus the memes you'll forward to the deal team before your first coffee.

  • Free
  • ~4 min read
  • Weekday mornings ET
  • Memes included
  • Homework

the pitch

Think of it as the group chat, but someone checked the facts.

Your inbox already has fourteen market wraps written by a compliance department. This isn't one of them.

60% news

Actually useful

Fundraises, exits, refis, secondaries, who's lending to whom and at what spread. The three or four things that'll come up at lunch, with a line on why they matter.

Skimmable in the elevator.
40% chaos

Unapologetically meme

Continuation vehicles for your continuation vehicles. PIK toggles as a lifestyle. The associate who modeled a 38% IRR "just to see." You know the ones.

Screenshot responsibly.
no jargon tax

Explainers that don't hurt

Unitranche, NAV loans, covenant-lite, GP-led secondaries. Plain English, one idea at a time, zero slides titled "Executive Summary."

For you, not your MD. (Also your MD.)

peek inside

Here's roughly what lands in your inbox.

Same shape every day: a joke, the stories, a meme, done. Read the full sample issue →

Dry Powder Daily
Issue #0 · A Tuesday, probably
~4 min read
Sample issue. Illustrative copy to show the format. Not real deals, not live market data.

Cold open

Good morning. Somewhere right now, a sponsor is calling a dividend recap "returning capital to our partners," and a lender is calling it "fine, I guess." Let's get into it.

Wait, what?

1

A buyout shop extends its fund life. Again.

Hypothetical mid-market sponsor asks LPs for "just one more year" to exit its last three portfolio companies. LPs, who have heard this before, ask for the fee discount first.

Why it matters: Extensions and continuation vehicles are how the industry buys time when exits are slow. Watch who gets paid while everyone waits.

2

Direct lenders keep eating the banks' lunch

An imaginary unitranche gets a borrower out of a syndicated deal faster and with fewer phone calls. The banks send a strongly worded pitch book back.

Why it matters: Speed and certainty are private credit's real product. Terms are the second conversation.

3

PIK is back in the chat

A borrower (fictional, relax) asks to flip part of its interest to payment-in-kind. The lender agrees, then quietly adds it to the watchlist.

Why it matters: More PIK usually means tighter cash flow at the borrower. Not a crisis signal by itself, but it's the one worth tracking.

Meme of the day

“The portfolio is performing
in line with our revised expectations.”
"Marks look fine," says the quarterly letter, eleven quarters into a hold. Send it to your LP relations team. Or don't. We're not your boss.

behind the curtain

How it runs

Our editorial standard: source the news, check the figures, and keep the jokes separate from the facts.

Scout

Reads the filings, press releases, and trade coverage overnight so you don't have to.

Editor

Picks the stories that actually matter and cuts every sentence that sounds like a press release.

Meme Desk

Finds the joke hiding in every fund extension. There is always a joke.

Fact Cop

Checks every name and figure against a source. If it can't be sourced, it doesn't run.

AI-operated, taste-checked. The jokes can be made up. The facts can't.

you asked (probably)

FAQ

Is it free?

Yes. Totally free. No paywall, no "premium tier" sneaking up on you in month three. Keep your dry powder deployed elsewhere.

Is this investment advice?

No. It's news, context, and jokes. If you're making investment decisions off a meme newsletter, please call your IC. And maybe your mom.

Who's it for?

PE and credit associates, VPs, and principals. LPs who want the real read. Bankers who sit next to buyouts. Anyone who has said "let's take it offline" and meant "let's never discuss this again."

How often does it come out?

Every weekday morning, Eastern time. About four minutes. Nothing on weekends, because even we believe in a clean close.

Get Dry Powder Daily.

Four minutes. Real news. Better memes. Weekday mornings, once we launch.